Why don't I just die ?

I am sorry mom for that tear in your eye.
I am sorry dad for some biggest lies.
When I look at myself in the mirror,
my whole body starts to shiver
thinking of the pain that I gave you
and painting your skies grey which were once always blue.
I never intended to make you cry,
but as I already do
I so often think that why don't I just die ?
.
.
.
~ Yashasvi Bhati
picture from Pinterest